Break up to make up…is that all the two of you do? If you and your significant other have broken up and are thinking of getting back together, you might want to think twice before doing so. Sometimes, things are better left alone.
Take time out
Breaking up is a time out of sorts. If you are already broken up, you might as well take a little more time to evaluate your relationship before jumping back into it.
Here are some things to consider before you jump back into your broken relationship:
Does there seem to be a pattern of breaking up? If you find that you and your partner tend to break up a lot, there could be trouble lurking behind the scene. Sometimes, one or both of the individuals are prone to drama. They aren’t happy in the relationship unless they are either fighting or making up. Another possibility is that the two of you simply don’t get along together well enough to be in a committed situation. Either scenario warrants a big second thought before getting back together and should be considered a huge red flag.
Why did the two of you break up?
Did your partner cheat on you? Did you cheat on your partner? When a person in a relationship cheats, it’s a sign they are not a trustworthy person, or that they are not content with the one they are involved with. Getting back together in such a case is not out of the question, but you must be sure the underlying issues have been resolved. Perhaps the unfaithfulness was a product of a vulnerable time in yours or your partner’s life. Or, it may have been something chalked up as a complete mistake and is now genuinely regretted. Forgiveness is always and options if the one who cheated is truly sorry and willing to never cheat again. Still, there will be hurt feelings and trust issues to work through. Many relationships simply cannot handle that kind of strain.
Can you agree to disagree?
Maybe there was a disagreement and you or your partner needed some time to think things over. No two people totally agree on everything. Sometimes, it takes breaking up to learn to make the relationship work. If you find you can work through things, you may be able to do so. But, some disagreements can never be resolved. If you nor your partner are willing to give in or to compromise and a resolution isn’t in sight, it’s best to save time because eventually, it’s inevitable that the relationship will cease to thrive. You can always be friends rather than lovers. Many times, you’ll find your relationship is much better when you are good friends.
Never assume a relationship HAS to be. It’s easy to get so comfortable, or so wrapped up in a certain person that you assume you should get back together if you break up. That’s not true though. You are not obligated to be with someone and if things are not working out, it’s often best just to go your own ways. Especially if you find you are breaking up a lot or that the break-ups are getting more explosive, it is definitely time to reevaluate the situation. To be…or not to be? That…is the question.